Productivity for Parents

One of the biggest fears of new parents can be summed up by this quote: "My life is over". Life does change beyond recognition when you become a parent, but it's far from over, if you decide so. My fiance and I have had these discussions. Me, forever the optimist, assured her that our lives would be better. And it is. The bigger struggle, however, for the two of us has been productivity. Getting things done. I've been laid off for 6 months now, and helping with the baby takes up time. The days seemed to fly by when I'm home. As the days flew by, nothing was really getting done. When you become a parent, the rules change. When you get that, you will be better equipped to handle life as it is now.

Rule #1:

You no longer have a bulk amount of time to do "whatever"

Remember when you were younger and you had unlimited time to finish your tasks? 3 weeks to write a paper. 3 months to do your taxes. A weekend to clean out the garage. Yeah, those days are over. Now you are blessed to get 3 hours to yourself. But that doesn't mean that you can't be productive. It just means you have to plan better and execute better.

How to handle it

Instead of having huge blocks of time, you now have (at the most) 2-3 hours at a time. That sounds like a lot, until you become a parent. And realize that YOUR life doesn't stop just because you have a new little life to care for. The best way to deal with this is to do things in small spurts. Often, throughout the day you may only have 10-15 minutes at a time. But, you might have 15-20 of those moments in a day. Instead of hoping (in vain) for an entire day to do something, why not take advantage of those little 10 minute spurts. Maybe you can't clean the entire garage, but perhaps you can get the trash off the garage floor. Or perhaps organize what needs to be thrown out versus being kept. Breaking goals up into smaller tasks, makes you feel better and actually leads to the task getting done.

Rule #2:

You can't trust your memory anymore. It doesn't mean you're ready for shuffleboard in Florida just yet. It just means that your conscious mind is on your little one, therefore other things fall by the wayside. The conscious mind has a very limited amount of space, and gets overloaded quickly. The reason that most people forget is that they rely on the conscious mind too much.

How to adjust:

Make lists. Preparing a simple list of what needs to be done is a great way to preserve your mind without making you feel overwhelmed. Doing this actually makes you more productive. The subconscious mind (the most powerful part of your mind) loves lists (organization in general) and you are more apt to remember things in order than out of order.

Rule #3:

Your free spirit now is confined to entertaining your child. If you are the type that likes to do things on your own schedule when you get ready, you may want to change that. It's vital to have a routine for both you and your child. Your child will flourish with structure. Humans in general are better when more organized. All types of people benefit from this. Establishing a routine allows you to schedule your most challenging tasks in the morning or later if need be. Personally, I am better in the morning. The more I do early, the more productive I am later. It is like a positive feedback mechanism. So I definitely try to get going early.

How to adjust:

Schedule everything possible. Establish nap time, bath time and feeding time. Write it down, do not just do it in your head. When you get on a schedule, things begin to flow better.

Your life with a kid will never be the same as it was before. With the right approach, however, it could be even better.

How to Find Work in a New City

Being in a new city is challenging, exciting and scary all at once. The luster of having a new area code eventually wears off. Then the task of supporting yourself begins. It can be a challenge especially if you have no contacts or leads. Personally, I have moved to a new city without a job twice. The first time it took me 2 1/2 months to get a job. The second time, less than a week. What was the difference? A change in plans and a different attitude.

When you're in a new city, especially if you have not built a career for yourself, it's like you are an unknown entity. You need someone to take a chance on you. You also have little room to be choosy. You probably don't have a place, so you need money for that as well as transportation. If you were staying with someone, you would want to give something for letting you stay under his or her roof. Either way, you need cash. When I moved to Florida in 2003, I had no clue what I was doing. I believed "God will provide" and He did. I didn't use wisdom. I should have had at least a plan going down. But I was young and dumb. Fortunately, I had guardian angels in the form of friends who had moved down to Florida. I'm still figuring out how to pay them back, but I decided to pay it forward in the meantime.

Anyway, I kept applying for jobs in my field (biology) with no results. There was one company in particular where I was speaking with a woman who was confident she could place me once I came down. I came down and couldn't reach her. She was a recruiter but had no office.
(picture of an abandoned building)
So that was a lesson. A job isn't a job until you have it.

Since you’re in a new city, the first lesson is this:

1. Learn the Lay of the Land
You have to figure out to get around your new city. If you have a car, God bless you. You'll need it. If you don't have a car, God bless you. You'll need it, eventually. The next move after you get a place should be a knock around car for a $1000 or less. Get something you can pay in cash, so you don't have a car note hanging over your head while you are putting down roots. New York City and (maybe) Chicago are the only places I know where you can be comfortable without a car.

Since, there were no jobs in my field. I pretty much deemed the situation hopeless. Yes, I knew there were other jobs out there, but I wanted a science job. Especially considering I had a science degree. This leads to lesson two:

2. Get a Job, Any job
You should spend 8 hours a day, writing and tweaking your resume, and contacting prospective employers.
Yes, I know you have extensive training and experience in a certain area. Yes, I know you led a team and perhaps even did the hiring and firing at your last job. But if Friday's is the only place hiring, (Jack Daniels Sampler!!) then that's your new job. Pride keeps a lot of people unemployed. In a new city, pride (for the most part) has to go out the window. In Orlando, my first job was with a call center. Call centers tend to have high turnover rates because the job sucks. This call center felt like work release after you get busted for weed. No, it never happened to me by the way. In call centers, you get cursed out, hung up on, and badgered on a daily basis. But it was a paycheck and it kept me out of the rain. When I moved to Philly, my first job was with the aforementioned Friday's. I stayed about 2 1/2 weeks and was cured of ever wanting to be a waiter again. But that effort and willingness to do whatever necessary to keep the lights on lead to my second job, when I worked in the mailroom of the Philadelphia Museum. It was pretty cool and I actually enjoyed it. I even got a computer from them (Relax they were going to recycle it, anyway) In my free time, I kept sending out resumes. Kept calling people. In about two and a half months, I got to a good paying job. Here’s the 3rd lesson:

3. Constantly Look to Upgrade
Let's face it, the days of loyalty are over. Companies are cutting bait with people faster than ever before. Just like companies have bottom lines, you have one too. If the job you have now doesn't pay your bills, you have to keep looking until you find one that does. Working contract is a good way to do this without being dishonest. This way you and the company can try each other out to find a good fit.

I was working for a parking garage (as a receptionist) when the good paying gig came along. They wanted me to stay but it wasn’t what I wanted. Still, it was nice to know the job was mine for the taking because of my performance. Lesson#4 is:

4. Do a Great Job While You're There
It’s important that you do an awesome job while you are at a job. The reasons are simple, these are the people who will be giving you a reference. You want to build a good history as well as a good feeling that you left a job better than you found it. Even though it's not the job you want, it's the only job you have.

The time to leave a job inevitably comes. There is a right and wrong way to do it.

5. Leave a Job Professionally
I'm ashamed to say that I have left jobs in the worst way. Some jobs I should have passed on. Or I got comfortable and realized I hated it as much as Geometry in the 11th grade. At any rate, you should always leave a job professionally, the best way you know how. Quit with 2 weeks notice, if at all possible. Sometimes, contract job can be a little more lenient.

6. Have a Vision for your Dream Job
We all have that dream job. Maybe we don’t know what that dream job is until it comes. When I was working at the call center , I got wind of an opportunity to work for EA Sports. I jumped at the chance and even though the job wasn’t permanent, I did it and it was an amazing experience. I even made the credits for 2005 NCAA Football!! Whatever you dream job is, it’s out there. Keep working hard and don’t stop looking until you find it. You will know when you find it.

Produce Your Own Glory

One thing I have noticed in my life is that true success happens when you can produce something amazing away from the limelight. Many people want the job before showing the goods. Actually, you have to show the goods before you get the job.

Write the bestseller before the book deal
Write the hit record
Write the script
Produce the idea before it makes millions
Create a masterpiece where you are now
Produce glory with what you have now

Many artists and entrepreneurs produce their initial product away from the spotlight. Without big investors, or backing. They just produce something amazing. And it becomes what it becomes. The way which you live your life demands this. Opportunities to produce glory meet us everyday. We have the ability. It's a matter of allowing glory to happen. It means not reproducing what's been done before. Doing something completely new. Reach inside of you. Find something you've never found before. Do you know that you are an endless wealth of creative energy?

You could live 100 lifetimes and never repeat yourself. It's actually harder to copy others, because our creative spirits don't jump on board. You are operating out of your lower self. Like writing with your non-dominant hand. ANY problem you have can be solved creatively. I don't care what it is.

Glory comes from problems. Look at your problems as opportunities to produce glory. A common problem is a lack of money for many people. Do you know that they are literally a million ways to make the money you to get to the end of the month? If you did them all, would all one million fail? Probably not. Maybe number one wouldn't work. Perhaps two would fall flat. But eventually, one would come through. The law of averages basically guarantees it.

I define glory like this. If God did what you did for a living, what would it look like? Would it have millions of typos? Would it be sloppy and unusable? Or would it be the most amazing thing you have ever seen in your life? I think our mission should be to make things to that level of quality. Making money should not be the primary goal. Yes, I know that you have bills and responsibilities. We all do. But your greatest responsibilities are to God and mankind. We are here to produce glory. Making something that inspires others. You know what makes something good? Someone else wants to cover it. Or make a new version. I notice that people on the Internet make covers of songs. Are these average songs? No, they are the most popular songs out today. Make something that inspires others. That is your purpose.

What are you expecting?

There is a Christian movie, entitled “Facing the giants”, in which one character asks another who is expecting God to do something for him, there were two farmers: One who prayed for rain and one who prepared for rain, Which one are you? This was a great illustration of how we often are when it comes to faith. We often short-circuit our faith in a desired outcome with unbelief. A minister once asked a very matter-of-fact question: if you believed God answered your prayer, why are you still praying? It makes a lot of sense. Often because we don’t see a sign of things turning around, we tend to give in and give up easily. The bottom line is that, if things were instantaneous, you wouldn’t need faith. You wouldn’t need to have faith to make it through the tougher times in life. To have strong faith, you must believe that the outcome you have prayed for is indeed coming. If you expect it to rain and you have an umbrella, wouldn’t you take it? There is a great Bible illustration of this in 2 Kings.

14 Elisha said, "As surely as the LORD Almighty lives, whom I serve, if I did not have respect for the presence of Jehoshaphat king of Judah, I would not look at you or even notice you. 15 But now bring me a harpist." While the harpist was playing, the hand of the LORD came upon Elisha 16 and he said, "This is what the LORD says: Make this valley full of ditches. 17 For this is what the LORD says: You will see neither wind nor rain, yet this valley will be filled with water, and you, your cattle and your other animals will drink. 18 This is an easy thing in the eyes of the LORD; he will also hand Moab over to you. 19 You will overthrow every fortified city and every major town. You will cut down every good tree, stop up all the springs, and ruin every good field with stones."20 The next morning, about the time for offering the sacrifice, there it was—water flowing from the direction of Edom! And the land was filled with water.

These three kings needed water for their horses, but they were in the middle of a desert. Seems hopeless right? I’ve been in situations like that, where it seemed there was no hope or way for this to happen. So Elisha (God’s prophet or representative) was set to perform the miracle. He reminds the kings in the opening, that if he didn’t respect the presence of Jehosaphat king of Judah, he wouldn’t have helped them. Judah represents praise in our time. So praise must be present in order for miracles to happen. A spirit of gratitude is essential to success in any field. Then Elisha, said bring me a harpist which set the atmosphere for praise and worship. If the atmosphere isn’t right, no miracles happen. Do you work better in clean pristine office, or in an alleyway? Atmosphere matters. The harp was played to usher in the presence of God, which made the way easier for miracles to happen. Then the Lord said make this valley full of ditches, prepare for water. Have you dug your ditches? Have you prepared for your desired answer? Or are you still praying, hoping that God will move. Faith without action is useless (James 2:18). Then the Lord really upped the ante, saying you will not see rain nor wind, but still this valley will be filled with water. You and your animals will have what you need. This is amazing. How did those ditches become filled, we don’t know. But they prepared for the miracle and miracle happened. Then the Lord said, this is easy in my eyes. And it is! So many things that keep us up at night are easy to God. So it is best to leave the hard stuff to Him. What are the take home lessons here?

1. Enlist God’s help, no man is an island.
2. Set the atmosphere, Give God thanks and praise for what He has already done.
3. Prepare for the answer you prayed for
4. Don’t dictate how it should be done (there are methods you know not of)
5. Rest in knowing it will be done, the valley will be filled
6. Know that what’s hard in your eyes, is easy to God.