One of the biggest fears of new parents can be summed up by this quote: "My life is over". Life does change beyond recognition when you become a parent, but it's far from over, if you decide so. My fiance and I have had these discussions. Me, forever the optimist, assured her that our lives would be better. And it is. The bigger struggle, however, for the two of us has been productivity. Getting things done. I've been laid off for 6 months now, and helping with the baby takes up time. The days seemed to fly by when I'm home. As the days flew by, nothing was really getting done. When you become a parent, the rules change. When you get that, you will be better equipped to handle life as it is now.
Rule #1:
You no longer have a bulk amount of time to do "whatever"
Remember when you were younger and you had unlimited time to finish your tasks? 3 weeks to write a paper. 3 months to do your taxes. A weekend to clean out the garage. Yeah, those days are over. Now you are blessed to get 3 hours to yourself. But that doesn't mean that you can't be productive. It just means you have to plan better and execute better.
How to handle it
Instead of having huge blocks of time, you now have (at the most) 2-3 hours at a time. That sounds like a lot, until you become a parent. And realize that YOUR life doesn't stop just because you have a new little life to care for. The best way to deal with this is to do things in small spurts. Often, throughout the day you may only have 10-15 minutes at a time. But, you might have 15-20 of those moments in a day. Instead of hoping (in vain) for an entire day to do something, why not take advantage of those little 10 minute spurts. Maybe you can't clean the entire garage, but perhaps you can get the trash off the garage floor. Or perhaps organize what needs to be thrown out versus being kept. Breaking goals up into smaller tasks, makes you feel better and actually leads to the task getting done.
Rule #2:
You can't trust your memory anymore. It doesn't mean you're ready for shuffleboard in Florida just yet. It just means that your conscious mind is on your little one, therefore other things fall by the wayside. The conscious mind has a very limited amount of space, and gets overloaded quickly. The reason that most people forget is that they rely on the conscious mind too much.
How to adjust:
Make lists. Preparing a simple list of what needs to be done is a great way to preserve your mind without making you feel overwhelmed. Doing this actually makes you more productive. The subconscious mind (the most powerful part of your mind) loves lists (organization in general) and you are more apt to remember things in order than out of order.
Rule #3:
Your free spirit now is confined to entertaining your child. If you are the type that likes to do things on your own schedule when you get ready, you may want to change that. It's vital to have a routine for both you and your child. Your child will flourish with structure. Humans in general are better when more organized. All types of people benefit from this. Establishing a routine allows you to schedule your most challenging tasks in the morning or later if need be. Personally, I am better in the morning. The more I do early, the more productive I am later. It is like a positive feedback mechanism. So I definitely try to get going early.
How to adjust:
Schedule everything possible. Establish nap time, bath time and feeding time. Write it down, do not just do it in your head. When you get on a schedule, things begin to flow better.
Your life with a kid will never be the same as it was before. With the right approach, however, it could be even better.
